About
My name is Avory Faucette, and I am an award-winning trans/queer activist and writer. I have a JD from the University of Iowa, where I studied international human rights law, and I now work in non-profit technology. I blog on topics including queer and trans identities, anti-racism from a white perspective, intersections between different types of oppression. You can find my other writings under the links listed as “Avory Elsewhere” to the right of your screen. My pronouns are “zie” and “hir.”
If you would like to book me to speak at your college or university, or are a member of the press, please see AvoryFaucette.com.
Comments and Linking Policy
I approve all comments that aren’t spam or simply hateful attacks. If you disagree with me, you are welcome to comment. My linking policy is open – feel free to post a link to one of my posts, to put me on your blog roll, or to quote one of my posts (as long as you give credit).
Contact Information
You can contact me at avory [at] avoryfaucette [dot] com, or simply leave a comment.
Products & Reviews
I am happy to accept appropriate items, tickets to events, etc. to review for the blog. Please contact me in advance, however, and let me know what you have in mind so that I can determine whether it would make an appropriate blog post for my audience. You can do that at avory [at] avoryfaucette [dot] com. Also please keep in mind that a review copy, comped ticket, etc. does not guarantee a positive review of your product or event.
Link Sharing, Advertising, and Guest Posts
I am available for guest posts on other relevant blogs. I don’t do link sharing or advertising for other blogs or services.
Radically Queer 
Hi – Can you help me get the word out about my research? Thanks! Felice
PLEASE FORWARD
An invitation from Felice Newman, author of The Whole Lesbian Sex Book
Lesbian, Bisexual & Queer Women Couples:
Have you been together for 5+ years?
Do you enjoy a satisfying sex life?
I’d like to hear from you: What makes your sexual relationship work?
Will you help me research a new sex guide for lesbian couples?
I am conducting confidential interviews (via telephone) with couples who enjoy a satisfying sexual relationship. I am interested in exploring the ways we “grow” our sexual partnerships.
I want to know what makes your sexual relationship work. How do you sustain erotic interest over the years? How do you face the sexual challenges that inevitably arise in a long-term relationship? How has your coupled sexuality evolved? How does your partnership support your sexual growth and pleasure? In short, what are the payoffs of an ongoing sexual relationship?
I want to hear from couples who have been together 5+ years, and who feel their sexual relationship “works” — however you would define that. (Even if you wouldn’t say you have the perfect sex life, if you are generally fulfilled in your sexual relationship, I want to hear from you.)
The Whole Lesbian Sex Book has informed, supported, and entertained many thousands of women in the nearly 10 years since it was published. Now I’m turning my attention to couples. As a somatic coach and sex educator, I help many couples who are quite unsatisfied with their sex lives. I’m doing this research so that I can better help them—and, of course, the many couples who will read the book.
There will be a reciprocal aspect to these interviews. In our telephone conversation, you’ll have an opportunity to ask me questions, too.
All interviews will be strictly confidential, and interviewees will be quoted anonymously in my book.
If you’d like to participate, please hit REPLY, delete my portion of the email, and fill out the form below.
Thanks so much!
Best wishes,
Felice Newman
http://www.felicenewman.com
Whether you identify as lesbian, bisexual, or queer; butch, femme or androgynous; polyamorous, monogamous; adventurous, sensual, kinky; boi, MTF, butch-in-transition, transmen, partner of an FTMs and MTFs, intersex, traditionally gendered or transgendered; sexually experienced or new to sexual exploration, I want to hear from you!
PS: MY APOLOGIES IF YOU GE MORE THAN ONE COPY OF THIS EMAIL!
Felice Newman is a sex educator and Somatic Coach certified by the Strozzi Institute. She is the author of The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us (Cleis Press), and a founding co-publisher of Cleis Press. Felice has appeared on Dr. Drew’s Love Line, Derek & Romaine Show, and other radio programs, and has spoken to audiences on sexuality in many cities. She has been the resident sex coach on ClassicDykes.com and has offered sex advice on About.com and LesbiaNation.com. She lives with her partner in the San Francisco Bay Area where she coaches individuals and couples. She is a member of The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) and the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS).
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
FELICE NEWMAN’S LESBIAN COUPLES RESEARCH PROJECT.
Please complete and send to: felice@felicenewman.com
NAME (Age)Phone #
1. _________________________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________________________
How long have you been a couple?
What is the best thing about your sexual relationship?
What has been the greatest challenge to your sexual relationship?
What interests you about participating in this research?
What city/state do you live in?
Phone #:
Best time(s) to schedule a conversation?
All interviews will be strictly confidential, and interviewees will be quoted anonymously in my book.
Felice Newman
author of The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide for All of Us (Cleis Press)
Certified Somatic Coach & Sex Educator
felice@felicenewman.com
http://www.felicenewman.com
Hello Sista,
ha, this is really a surprise. found you while searching for hate crime!!
me: a like minded gay and somewhat scholar wanna be.. and from Sri Lanka.
//Judith//
reminded me of another great scholar Judith Butler…
I blog here: http://lostlandscape.blogspot.com
you can find my IDAHO posts there 😉
Hey Judith, I was wondering …. are you on myspace? I have one set up for my blog … but than I have my personal one. If you’re on myspace I’d love to add you! Why? Because you’re awesome 🙂
Great blog, Judith.
Glad to have found another lesbian blogger on WordPress.
I run “The Outskirts” over on http://thehostess.wordpress.com/
All the best,
The Hostess
loved your blog.. a small reminder of how are concerns and issues are the same across continents..it reinforced my belief in global sisterhood!
all the best!
Why is it that most lesbians are how do you say it (homely) ? I think it is because you all are self conscious and think less of yourself than what you should. I feel very sorry for you all because you have limited your lives to what should have been a natural relationship the way it was intended One man One woman. It just appalls me that you all are so blinded to the truth.
Felice – Good luck with your research! I mentioned it on my blog, hopefully you’ll get some responses.
Judith- How funny! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Sasha- Sadly, MySpace is not for me 😦
TH- Thanks for visiting! I’ll check your blog out when I get a chance.
random – So true! I’m all about the global sisterhood – any way we can help each other is a good thing.
amy – I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m not sure where you get the impression that I’m “homely” as I am actually quite self-confident and proud of the woman I’ve become.
well maybe i might have been a little critical about the homely part maybe its just that its not a flattering pic of you. I myself have always been under par in the looks department since child birth several years ago. Its just that really most homosexual women i see are either sporting the butch look or they try to down play their femininity side. my question why? Is it that their inner self is conflicting with what is on the outside. Sorry for the homely comment I used it because I don’t mean that they are ugly they are just plain. Even an old barn looks better with a coat of red paint. royalchild
Hey Judith,
Just came across your blog tonight…it’s really good. I’ve enjoyed the posts I’ve read so far.
Judith, It sounds like you’re in Iowa City. If so, glad to see a fellow Hawkeye online. I enjoy your blog, and Amy who commented here is wrong. Your photo is entirely hot ;-). The lesbian fiction book club looks like fun.
amy – I’m sorry you feel that way about yourself after giving birth. I tend to think that beauty can come in a number of ways – as for “butch” looks, it isn’t that we’re necessarily playing down a femininity, it can be (and is in my case) that this is how we express being a woman. Society decides what’s fashionable for women; it isn’t intrinsic. At various times in history what we would now consider “boyish” was considered very attractive. I don’t feel that there’s a conflict, in fact, what I feel on the inside is what I express on the outside. Beautiful, professional, independent. When I put on a suit and tie, that’s *my* coat of red paint.
tenthousandpeople – Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoy the blog.
Teresa – I am! I’m a law student at Iowa. Thank you re: the photo, and I hope you’ll join the bookclub! I can’t recall whether I’ve seen you there yet or not (I’m so bad with names), but if not you can sign up at http://lesbianbookclub.proboards105.com
I love your intellectual, insightful, classy blog. A PLUS and I intend to add you to my blogroll at http://alesbiankiss2desire.blogspot.com . I hope you will continue to share your thoughts on interests, people, and issues …your mix blends well I think.
Brenda
Hi, Judith. I read your “My Views on Monogamy” post and wondered if you would consider being interviewed for an article I am writing for a national lesbian magazine on successfully single lesbians.
Here’s my definition:
•happily single
•consciously enjoying the advantages of being single, which can include freedom, independence, growth, adventure, travel, focus on personal goals
•does not define her worth in terms of having a partner/relationship
•not looking for a relationship, whether this is a temporary choice or a permanent life path
This sounded to me like a good match to your philosophy. If you agree and are interested in participating, I’d love to call and talk to you.
Thanks for considering this request, Judith. Best, Kathy Anderson
Hi,
I wanted to introduce you to a relatively new show, The Lesbian
Podcast. Our current episode (episode #9, features Jamie Lauren from
Bravo’s Top Chef). Please check us out at http://www.TheLesbianPodcast.com
and if you like us, we were hoping that you might post a link to us on
your site.
Thank you for your time,
j.
I just discovered your blog and am really enjoying reading it. It is also nice to hear from another queer woman pursuing a law career. I’m currently applying to law school in the hopes of studying media/privacy law. (Can you guess why privacy?) Just letting you know you’ve snagged yourself another reader.
Oh, and my blog is The Yellow Brick Road Trip (theyellowbrickroadtrip.blogspot.com) about my travels to see the interesting, unique, and just plain weird roadside attractions in the Midwest.
Hey there Judith-
You commented on my call for entries to 50 Books for Problematic Times at the Feministing Community, suggesting Audre Lord, bell hooks, and Adrienne Rich. I would love to include these, but I’m not familiar enough with their work to write them up myself. Would you be willing to write something up for them, to be posted at my blog in the series? (I would of course link you, and you’re more than welcome to cross-post). Email me at deeplyproblematic@gmail.com if you’re interested, or just direct me to something you’d like to cross-post in the comment here (which I’ve subscribed to.) Thanks!
Hello Judith,
OK, so what’s a man doing writing on a lesbian blog?! Well, I’m a gay man and, contrary to popular belief, many of us love our sister lesbians. (I’ve never understood what all the fuss was about.) 😉
I found your article on “Same Sex Marriage and Free Movement in the EU”, and then your blog (great!). Having experienced hate crimes first hand on several occasions here in the U.S. (from vilification to physical attacks), I wanted to thank you for what you’re doing – educating everyone on human rights. Keep up the good fight. (I love the way you responded to Amy – it shows you have a gentle heart as well as a sharp mind.)
My partner and I are planning our next big adventure and thinking of moving to Spain or the Netherlands. He’s Danish and has an EU passport, so we think that’s a pretty good start. What we don’t know is whether I’ll be able to move over with him at the same time and work immediately or will it take time. We’ve been together for four years, three at the same address here in the U.S.
I’m having trouble even finding anything about partners of EU citizens (non-resident), and what is required in order for me to be able to work in the EU (timing, marriage, etc.) Did you come across any info in your research, or would you be able to point us in any relevant direction? The embassies are impossible.
Kind Regards, and thanks again for fighting for us.
Tod
Hi There, I am in a very similar situation to Tod’s. My husband and I were married last year in CA (while it was still legal!). He has dual US/British Citizenship. We are thinking of moving to France, so I am really intrigued about their recognition of same sex marriages that are legal in other countries. Would that include ours, or do they only recognize the ones from within the EU? Can’t find references to this anywhere else, unfortunately. Can you point me in the right direction? Thanks for all you are doing!
Martin
Hi
I have an blog that you might want to know about.
Wow, I’m a bit late to this one, but just found this blog and love it! Queer intellectuals unite!
Thanks for stopping by! Queer intellectuals rock on 🙂 I noticed that the post a comment link on your blog doesn’t work (it just goes to where you can read the comments). Thought you might like to know.
Hello! I am working on an anthology called “Queering Sexual Violence” and I currently have an open call for submissions through May 1st. It can be extended if necessary. I was hoping to email you personally and then let you give out the information, should you want to but I was unable to find a contact. Hope this is ok by you!! Here is a link:
http://www.lambdaliterary.org/writers/calls-for-submissions/03/22/submissions-queering-sexual-violence-working-title/
Thanks!!
Jennifer,
What a fabulous idea for an anthology! I will be submitting, and I’m so glad you let me know about this. I’ll mention it here as well, probably in the forward to my next Blogging “Yes” post. Also, thanks for pointing out the lack of my e-mail on this layout. I’ve added it to this “About” page.
Lesbian photographer Alix Smith is among 1143 artists being considered for a whopping $250,000 grant from Pepsi. For the last two years, Smith has been working on an award winning photography project/social action campaign that addresses inequality in civil rights – specifically, in the rights afforded to gay and lesbian individuals. Through gesture, color scheme, background and lighting, the photographs that comprise States of Union are loosely based on classical paintings. The goal of the project, which was exhibited at The Morgan Lehman Gallery in New York, and in Los Angeles at Manifest Equality, is to show LGBT youth – and indeed all Americans – that LGBT families, couples, and loves are no different than heterosexual ones and deserve the same love, support, and admiration.
Pepsi’s “refresh everything” campaign seeks to reward “people, businesses, and non-profits with ideas that will have a positive impact” and will change their community. Smith believes that encouraging positive identify formation in gay and lesbian youth by exposing them to images of familial love that they can relate to is critical to changing all American communities for the better. States of Union has been compared to the AIDS Quilt in its power to have a profound emotional affect on those that see it.
Voting for the winner of this grant began on April 1 and Smith’s project has already moved from 215th place to 76th, but in order to win she must move to 1st place. Supporters may vote daily for this project online at http://www.refresheverything.com/statesofunion
* Alix Smith is available for interviews about the project, and we’re happy to provide jpegs of her work if you’d like to post them.
IN THE LIFE is doing a segment on Alix Smith and States of Union. It is the second story in the “Dismantling Hate” episode. You can see it online at: http://www.inthelifetv.org/html/watchitl.shtml
To learn more about States of Union go to: http://www.statesofunion.com
Thanks for taking a look at this project and we hope you’ll consider voting, passing the information to people you know or organizations you are apart of and we hope you’ll consider posting about it!
http://www.statesofunion.com
statesofunion.wordpress.com
I am a researcher in the University of Virginia Department of Psychology, and I’m conducting a web-based study of engaged same-sex and different-sex couples. I am writing to respectfully ask if you’d be willing to post a notice of my study on your website. The study has been approved by the University of Virginia Institutional Review Board, which ensures ethical research conduct. They have also approved the text I would ask you to post, included below.
Please let me know if you have any questions. I look forward to hearing from you!
Sincerely,
Cristina Reitz-Krueger
Doctoral Student
University of Virginia
(434) 243-8558
P.S. Here is the text:
Engaged volunteers needed!
I am looking for volunteers for a study of attitudes towards marriage and parenthood among engaged couples. The study consists of a 25-30 minute online survey. To qualify for the study, you must be 20-35 years old, live in the U.S., and plan to marry or have a commitment ceremony within the next 365 days. You and your romantic partner must not have children, and this must be the first marriage for both of you.
You can:
-Help a doctoral candidate;
-Increase the pool of scientific knowledge;
-Support research on marriage and families; and
-Spend some time thinking about your relationship!
I am working with Dr. Charlotte J. Patterson, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia. This study has been approved by the University of Virginia Institutional Review Board #2009025800.
If you and/or your romantic partner are interested in participating or want further information, please email me at survey.couples@gmail.com. I will send you a link that you can use to access the study.
Thanks!
Cristina Reitz-Krueger
Doctoral Student
University of Virginia
(434) 243-8558
survey.couples@gmail.com
Hi, Judith:
I’m one of the folks who monitors the Rethinking Schools twitter account. Thanks for recently following us!
Perhaps this is why you followed us, but just in case, I want to draw your attention to our policy and production editor’s recent piece, “My Teacher Is a Lesbian: Coming Out at School.” http://rethinkingschools.org/archive/25_02/25_02_sokolower.shtml.
Thanks for tuning into our work. Let us know if we can be helpful in any way.
Hey Avory, great blog. Check out my queer rap “How To Be Free” think you might like it.
http://gavyk.tumblr.com/post/31808634750/gavy-k-raps-his-way-through-radical-sex#notes
Hi, Avory,
I just came across your blog through a friend’s sharing of your voting post! It was excellent, and I couldn’t help just roaming around your blog to read more of you. Really enjoying so far! Thank you for this blog! 🙂
Also , I love the way you handle criticism and disagreements. You’re just too awesome.
Hi I have been reading radical feminism for some time and have somewhat recently discovered the rift between trans and radfems and wondered if any trans WERE radfems, hense found your page.
Could you explain to me exactly where your ideology differs from trans-exclusionary radical feminists and where it converges? I believe gender is a social construct and a caste system that should be overthrown, I also believe trans persons are discriminated against in society. I want to learn how/where/if I need to tailor my beliefs in order to not be transphobic myself as a radical feminist. Thanks.
The Generations project is enrolling lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults who live in or near New York City, Tuscon, and the Bay Area into a research interview study. Eligible participants will be asked to meet with researchers and answer questions to talk about how they think about their sexual identities and cope with different sources of stress including stress related to prejudice about gender, race/ethnicity, and sexual orientation. The interview will take approximately 2½-3 hours. Participants are compensated $75 for their time and participation. To take a brief eligibility survey, please visit the following link: GenerationsScreen.com
If you would rather take the eligibility survey via phone, or would like to speak with us for any reason, you can call us at (831) 459-2851.
Recruitment material code: 0107
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