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Asking OKCupid to Change My Name to Reflect My Gender Identity

I’m a little bummed that OKCupid doesn’t allow for “queer” or “genderqueer” as options, but the name thing is really what gets to me. ¬†For the record, this is what I sent them, and I’ll keep you updated:

I am hoping that you might make an exception to your username policy for gender identity. I’ve always found OKC to be the most liberal dating site in terms of sexuality and gender, and I hope that you’ll live up to that reputation in practice, as many in queer communities use your service. I am genderqueer and the name I created years ago is a female first name that I no longer use in life. I go by my middle name, Avory. “Judith” is inconsistent with my gender identity and it can be upsetting to see it over and over again in print. I am on a limited income and cannot afford to pay a monthly fee indefinitely to have my name changed and maintained. As a longtime user, I would like to be able to keep the benefits I have accrued on your site, rather than be punished for a change in gender identity by having to create a new account. I trust that you will understand that this is not an abuse of the situation. My preferred usernames, in order of preference, are:


Thanks for your help,