Blogging “Yes” Day 19: Is Fighting for Sex the Best Option?

For day nineteen of the Blogging “Yes” project, I read Anastasia Higginbotham’s essay, “Sex Worth Fighting For.”  So far, this is the essay I disagree with most in the book, because it focuses on a self-defense program that focuses on actively fighting off men. Though I recognize that some women do feel empowered by physically fighting, I would argue that both men and women need to work towards non-violence, and that fighting violence with violence is not the right solution for everyone.

I have never been in a situation where I needed to be able to physically fight someone off, and perhaps I would be singing a different tune if that were not the case.  However, as a pacifist it’s hard for me to advocate physical violence and aggression as a solution to any problem.  Do I think women should be meek and mild and take no action when confronted with violence?  Of course not.  But the kind of violent anger in this essay seems counterproductive to me.  Rape culture is a part of an overall culture of violence.  Think of the money we spend on our defense budget, of the pointless wars we engage in, in how we teach young boys to be aggressive as a value.  Rape cannot be divorced from this context.  Rather than teaching women to channel rage into physical aggression, shouldn’t we be teaching men that violence is an absolutely unacceptable form of problem-solving?


About Avory

Avory Faucette is a queer feminist activist, writer, and public speaker. Zie graduated from the University of Iowa with a JD in 2009, focusing on international human rights and gender/sexuality issues in the law. Hir current work focuses on queer identity, policy, and marginalized identities under the queer umbrella. As a genderqueer person, zie comments frequently on non-binary identity, transgender and genderqueer issues, and media coverage of these populations. Zie also speaks at colleges, universities, and events on transgender and queer issues and conducts trainings on related topics.

Posted on April 23, 2010, in sex, war and peace and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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